Fourth grade in October

I got a long-term sub position for the month of October. I have been made aware that one of the kids in my class is hard of hearing. This means that I have to wear a microphone while I teach-- soo Britney Spears.

Some fun news-- Joe, my mother and I are planning a trip to Thailand in November. I am super excited/ecstatic. We'll be gone for 3 weeks and are planning to go to the south of Thailand to max and relax by the beach. I. Can't. Wait.

So its been awhile...

The last time I blogged, I was up to my eyeballs in kids and classroom management. Now, after a nice break and time well spent with my pups, I find myself back as a waitress, waiting for that phonecall (or email) from the district telling me that they have found me the perfect classroom. So I wait and take sub jobs as often as they come around.

Not 1, or 2, or 3! But 4! 4 students were suspended from my class yesterday!

Okay, really, I know what you're thinking. My class is horrible. I do actually THOROUGHLY enjoy my class on a day-to-day basis. There are just some days when you're thinking to yourself WTF were they thinking when they did X, or Y, or Z. Mind you, none of them were suspended for doing stuff to me (thank you Jeebus!), they just do it to each other (stealing) or write on small sheets of paper that so-and-so teacher is a _______ (insert profanity here).

"That's one of my kids."

We had a Mad Science assembly yesterday. All fourth and fifth grade classes attended--easily over 200 students, in addition to their teachers. I must admit, out of all the assemblies that I had been to with my kids, this one took the cake. It was fun, interactive, AND educational! *gasp* At the end of the assembly, the "Mad Scientist" told the audience that he would take 3 questions. The first question was from an inquisitive student wondering when the Mad Scientist's love for science began. Legitimate question. The second question asked what was his favorite science class-- biology, physics, or chemistry. Again, another appropriate and legitimate question. So, for the last and final question, he looked at my class and pointed to a girl with her hand raised. The sweet and innocent face sounded surprised and said, "Who? Me?"

"Yes, you in the pink hoodie-- what was your question?"

"I, uhh... just wanted to know-- [Insert "mean girl" face] Do you have any friends?"

Don't get me wrong, she wasn't asking him about his socializing skills to be polite. She wasn't concerned that his Mad Science life took up too much time and that he need remember that life is so much more than work. No, she had said it in a way that implied-- YOU BIG DORK, DON'T YOU HAVE A LIFE? OBVIOUSLY NOT. YOU'RE HERE TEACHING US THIS LAME ASS SCIENCE CRAP. My jaw dropped. I was floored.

So yes, that HIGHLY inappropriate question came from someone in MY class. Not yours. Mine. And no, I don't teach them manners. I teach them to belittle people. In public. In front of large crowds of people.

It's a compliment... I think.

"Mrs. Russo-- are you a teenager?" asks one of my students.

"Sweetheart, think about it. Do you think that the school would let me teach you if I were just a teenager?"

"Uhhhh. I guess not. But you know something-- you sure do act like one."

The woes of 5th grade

Actually, teaching fifth grade hasn't been that bad. It's been pretty exciting trying to piece together the parts of a partially written lesson plan. It's been fun to watch the kids humor you as you improv your way through said lesson. It's been nice to see all 30 students smiling at you as they're thinking, "This lady needs to get her s*#@ straight before she tries to teach us." My response? Don't worry kids, next week will be different.

So what are the "woes" you ask? The woes came when a little girl said, "The new boy is cursing under his breath. He says that he hates white people." I thought that I was going to vomit. My studies at the university did not prepare me to handle race issues. It taught me how to write a lesson plan and how to teach multi-cultural classrooms. Nothing in the text about bigotry and hatred.

Woe is me.

Good-bye 3rd grade, hello monsters

So it's been a while since I've had time to blog. Joe and I went to Florida for the holidays and both caught a horrible flu strain. We were immobile for what seemed like forever. Fortunately I had my mother to take care of me and poor Joe had to fly back to San Diego in the midst of his illness to pick the puppies up from the kennel. I came back a week later and started student teaching.

I had a portfolio that I needed to finish in order to graduate so I've been busy with that and planning curriculum for my little third graders. Teaching is very time-consuming.

Anyways, I finally finished my student teaching yesterday. Hooray! That means I have finished all the classes that I need to take to get my teaching credential. I can get paid now!! Woo hoo. Now the only thing that I must do is "clear" my credential with an advisor. That part should be painless. I think that I just have to meet with someone about something soon.

I start my long-term sub job this Monday for 5th grade. Their teacher is on maternity leave until June. She came in to an observation of me before Christmas break and she deemed me good enough to take over her class.

Her 5th grade kids are significantly larger than those of the 1st or 3rd kind. The 5th grade has developed senses. They can smell fear. I guess I just have to put on my tough guy attitude and hope that they don't see past my facade... beause that would suck.

Caffeine update

Farewell Caffeine, I have moved on.

It's been quite some time now since I have had a caffeinated cup of coffee. I can't say that I miss it as much as I had anticipated. I haven't cracked and hopefully won't crack during my Christmas vacation either. My teeth clenching has gotten significantly better too. I think that I am going to have to keep this up for a while. I have taken to drinking decaf coffee, decaf Gingerbread lattes, hot chocolate, and taking many naps.

Amen, sistah.

My beloved Lindsay writes in her blog,

"Suicidal suckiness, amused detachment and relief that Christmas break is a mere NINE instructional days away. That's right, people. I just might make it to Christmas. Thank God Christ was born, thus giving us some days off of school. "

2 instructional days left for me. I can't wait for Christmas break.

Day 1-- Caffeine Free

Okay boys and girls, it's that time of year again!! That's right. I'm giving up caffeine! Since we all know that this phase is always temporary (can/will last as long as 6 months) and always for a purpose (i.e. twitching eye, jittery foot...). The purpose this time? Teeth clenching. I found myself clenching my teeth at the oddest times-- painting my toenails, driving home from work, or watching tv. I never had a problem with teeth (or jaw) clenching before so I was really puzzled when my jaw became mysteriously sore one day. I wasn't chewing gum or excessively eating. I was puzzled.

So, I looked up teeth clenching on the internet and found that people who have a tendency to clench their teeth probably have one of three things going on in their lives:

1. stress (not so much stress in my life right now...)
2. TMJ (no problem there yet)
3. excessive amounts of caffeine (oops)

Since Thanksgiving break, I have been slowly reducing my caffeine intake. It started off with drinking Starbucks "split" coffee drinks (they spilt the drink for you 1/2 caffeinated, 1/2 decaf) on workdays and no coffee on Sunday (luckily Sunday is my day of rest-- if a headache would start, I would just take a nap). But, after two weeks of the "split" regime, I decided that today would be the day that I drink decaf all day long.

The day hasn't been bad. My headache can be easily ignored and I know that sleep is in my near future. Caffeine free existence, here I come.

A very rare night out!

I love eggs!

http://www.albinoblacksheep.com/flash/eggsong

Coming home for the holidays!

December 23- January 10

The last of my standardized exams...

I passed the RICA!! Woohoo!

One week and a half left of first grade

I can't believe that the first half of my student teaching is almost over. My last day is next Thursday. It'll be sad to leave the kids and the school but I guess I'm moving on to be like a sponge. I'm gonna absorb everything.

Skooter's 2nd near death experience... Oiy!

So Skooter almost died. That's right... again. On the way to the vet appointment, Skooter fell out of the car window. Luckily, Joe had a leash on Skooter and was able to pull him back into the car via leash. He said that the whole falling-out-the-car-and-getting-pulled-back-in-the-car took less than a minute. Skooter never touched ground... I guess he dangled in the air for a milli-second before being rescued from the face of death. Joe was freaked out for the rest of the day. Good news though, Skooter seems unphased by his second (almost tragic) near death experience.

Skooter's near death experience...

I was thinking that this was going to be just another Wednesday at the Dog Park. I'm chattin' away with fellow dog lovers when I turn around to see what kind of mischief my dogs were in. Skooter, who is usually wandering around the perimeter of the park (peeing on bushes), was lying down on his side in the middle of the field. I called his name twice before I realized that something was horribly wrong. I ran over to him and he was just lying there... placid. I picked him up. His whole body was limp. Everything was a blur.

Next thing I know, someone is saying, "I know CPR, is he breathing?" I didn't know. All I knew was that he needed immediate medical attention. His happy, panting face was nothing more than that of a sleeping dog's. His heart was beating... but just barely.

"You go to the ER. I'll follow you with Benson. Just take Skooter, I'll meet you there."

My body went into auto-pilot. I ran as fast as I could to the car. I didn't want to run too fast because Skooter's body was just dangling in my arms. He had no muscle control. He was listless.

___________________

Long story short, the ER doctor thinks that he had a severe allergic reaction. She suspects that he swallowed a bee. Instead of breaking out into hives and slowly turning pale, Skooter's body went straight into anaphylactic shock. His body was turning off-- too weak to fight the poison. His body wanted to die. Luckily, we were able to counter the allergic reaction with a ton of meds. He was healthy enough to come back home later that night.

I can't thank my friends at the Dog Park enough. Everyone showed their support and was there for me in my time of need. Joe and I feel so lucky to have such great people around us on a daily basis. Thank-you for everything everyone has done!

How I have been spending my free time...

RICA

Stupid RICA exam... It's the last of the standardized tests that I need to pass to clear my teaching credential. My exam is in less than 4 hours. Wish me luck!

Benson won 2nd place!!

That's right! Our little Chihuahua is a champ! He placed second in the regional San Diego Chihuahua races. That makes him top 8 in the US! Woo hoo! He won himself a year's supply of Dog Food.

Honestly, Benson should have won Regionals but our "impartial" judge sucked. Benson was so fast that she couldn't keep an eye on him (okay, maybe Benson didn't run in a straight line and ran off to the side but he still crossed the line!), even the camera guy thought he won. Well, its like I tell my first graders, the game is not about winning or losing, it's about how you play.